Panic! Worry! Over...

As many friends of mine know, I have a severe fear of eye doctors. Whether it was my first eye doctor, Dr. Kutt (oh yes -- imagine that) to the later brands of demons who have poked, tweaked and prodded my eyes, I avoid them at all costs.

Having had eye surgery five years back, my fear increased. It wasn't because they were scary or evil but I was literally over anything coming near my eyeballs. Being stabbed seemed somehow better than having someone poke me in the eye. I also still have memories of the pain and the looking like "Stigmata" (yes Kelly.. I know you know)...

These past few days my left eye has been killing me. I wake up, it hurts. It burns and even itches. I thought a few eye drops would stop it but this morning I woke up with a Holy Sh** Sty and knew I could not avoid the inevitable (and now that my beloved regular doctor retired, I am f***ed.)

I have not seen N.E.D. (Nice Eye Doctor) for five years. Five years ago I hated him and he was just plain ole E.D. There were all sorts of terribly uncomfortable tests I had to endure before my surgery and this man was responsible, so I had literally gray-boxed his face in my mind and considered him the enemy.

But today was different. We laughed. We giggled. He told me my eyes looked fantastic.

Then it was gross -- he flipped my eyelid with a q-tip (for real) and suddenly it dawned on me he was the same Kook Doctor that tried to gorge my eyes out years ago. I saw flashes of the character Alex from "A Clockwork Orange" -- you remember the part when he has those awful eye clamps on -- and I got really shifty and uncomfortable. N.E.D. then said, "I am not going to hurt you..." and he didn't. Peace again.

Anyway. I did it. I survived a two hour appointment (he also gave me a real eye exam and it was fine). He told me I needed to change my make-up (woooooo - I "need" to buy new make-up - water soluble stuff) and that the eye drops (all five different brands I carry at all times) are all complete crap.

He also told me a new tip: baby shampoo. He said to remove under eye make-up, take a little baby shampoo, mix it with water (10% shampoo / 90% water) and dip the q-tip in, swish it around and run it under the eye to remove any debris. All that AND a beauty tip. He's back on my list of good people AND -- I don't have to see him again for a year!