You learn something new everyday...

Baked Alaskan...and all this time I thought it was a phyllo-like fish recipe! Seriously. In all my years on this Earth, I thought it was some sort of creepy creamed trout recipe and lo and behold, its a dessert?? What planet am I from??

Speaking of learning something new...recently I learned:

* if you order a turkey in advance, BE SURE your person who is doing the ordering understands that the people eating the turkey are NOT vegetarians, but are in fact carnivores who LOVE them some turkey. My case in point, I'd thought I'd hit the jackpot ordering from the local yokel grocery store, three weeks in advance. The day before Thanksgiving, I went to go pick up my gobbly-gob fare that was in a large cardboard box. As I started walking away from the deli, I could not help but think I'd either ordered an anorexic bird or something was NOT right. When I opened the box, I gasped. Gobble bird was the size of a Nerf Football. Not big enough for 2-3 people, certainly not big enough for 11 people. Luckily, my nice bag lady (the bagger, NOT a real bag lady) noted my crinkled face as I paid for my eeny bird. When I explained the problem, she immediately pointed to the deli and said, "RETURN THAT BIRD." Whew. I did. And ended up with a massive 20.85 pounder.

* Call one of your best friends for turkey help. I did. And Becky's husband Brian calmly told me exactly what to do in the simple way that man does, not in the over-talky way a girl would.

* Investigate your roasting pan before putting the bird in. When my father put the roaster out, I kept cocking my head quizzically, wondering why it just didn't look right to me. It seemed, off. But who was I to judge. I don't own a roasting pan, especially the one the size of a small child.

We (Buddy and I) decided to take care of the bird THEN to relax with a cup o' joe and discuss our prior evening out. I used about 5 sticks of butter and a phat amount of olive oil. We put said bird into the pan. I set the timer and off we went with our coffee cups.

About 10 minutes later, I noticed Buddy sniffing in the air. I'd been trying to ignore my eyes burning, but truthfully, there was smoke…lots of it. And then the damned fire alarm started "reeeeeing" at us. We opened up the oven door to note a little piddle coming out of our pan. Shit. It's cracked. Where will we find a roasting pan THIS big...

And then, the sun shined…

It was upside down. I knew it had looked odd. There is a little hole in the top and everything liquid manage to slowly leak out. We carefully took apart the roaster, flipped the bird and managed to cover the range with globs of buttery olive oil.

* Always have Aunt M at dinners, especially when my father is present. Let's face it. The man has seen his share of Thanksgiving's and dinner's in general. Only, when I am cooking, having anyone telling me what to do or not to do is a no-no. Having someone looking over my shoulder and saying, "That's not how your do it," or "that's not the pan we'd use," or "what is that," "what are you making" is about as hellish as it gets. My personal bodyguard, Aunt M, saved my sanity. Every time I heard my father say, "L - why …" Aunt M would flail in between us and say, "…she bought it, she's cooking it…let's go watch football." Class dismissed.

…

But everything was easy. Dinner turned out to be absolutely perfect. I had been "worst-case scenario"-ing for weeks on end and here it was, the perfect, no chaos, no drama, yummy, fat-full Thanksgiving dinner.

I am thankful.

…and Jupiter, aligns with Mars…

It started last week.

A package arrived from Annie, chock full of fun, extravagant doo-dads.

A few cards came in the mail. Mom and Pop, my bro and co., a few friends.

Yesterday, K, T and I had our nails done, their treat. During the treat, a phone call came…flowers were not being delivered to my suite until I was actually present. Yesterday afternoon, a beautiful bouquet arrived from Robbie!

Last night, Little D and I waxed men and all sorts of other mysteries while indulging in some food and some Lime Fizzy water.

As the midnight hour approached, it happened.

I turned into a pumpkin!

Not really.

I turned 33.

Oddly enough, I have not weakened at the thought of this age. I have been awaiting this birthday with gleeful excitement since I was 27. Why? Not sure. I love odd numbers, but then again, I love odd people! Three is one of my favorite numbers, so why not a double whammy it by putting two of them next to each other, riiight??

Or maybe I am just softening the blow.

At any rate, today has been just as wonderful as the past week (with the exception of my darling Robbie and Alex flying the coop for D.C. - boo). An enlightening week, at best, I enjoyed three nights of the MOST incredible and illuminating full moon and after that I have ever witnessed. Seriously, last night while it was no longer a FULL moon, it was extraordinary. I woke up bright and early to the chirps of my adorable Kelly, who so lovingly called me at 6:25 to make SURE she was the first…and the second person (she called five minutes after her first call) to wish me a happy b-day and to sing several versions of "happy birthday" in only the way that Kelly can. Then it was Annie. Then Robbie. Arriving at work there was a Coffee Bean 'nilla latte and a treat from A and J. More cards (an exceptionally CUTE one from my sis), a few more treats, several e-mails, two text messages, e-cards and phone calls. Some major rages with the boss and then Buddy called. I was taken to lunch from V and S. Tonight I have fun plans with Bunnie, which is automatically a perfect night!

Tomorrow I pack and then…I am outta here for a week. Making Thanksgiving dinner for the fam next week with Buddy and co. Lots of visiting to do, lots of heavy clothing to wear and lots of beer to drink.

Hope nothing here was misconstrued as bragging…I am just truly a lucky girl and as Thanksgiving approaches, my being thankful should be an everyday ritual and something I NEVER take for granted…(I don't)…

THANK YOU!!! I have the most awesome friends in the entire world and once again, my birthday has been wonderful!!!

Big hugs to everyone!!!

P.S.

I share a birthday with Owen Wilson (meow) AND Mickey Mouse!! MM is looking awfully good for 77, eh??

It's so hot today, but you're so cold

I am not quite sure what's worse.

It's HOT today. It's November 16 and about 88 degrees. I think even the natives are getting restless. It's HAWT. Not that I am complaining as I sit in my air-conditioned office and see happy sunlight, but it is a little out of control having fire warnings due to the heat in the midst of Autumn and a mere week before Thanksgiving.

On that same level, I spoke with BFK, who was trudging herself down a Windy City street with her dog this morning. I could hear the wind whipping into her cell phone. Her words, fraught with bitter cold, were barely audible as she said, 'Holy ssssh----, its ffff-iiinally become Wwwwinter." I wanted to sing the title of this mini-story, but decided to not make angry a cold woman under five layers of clothing who is also picking me up from the airport.

But…that was enough to push me over the edge as my thoughts of getting away with packing lightly for my trek to the Midwest, starting Sunday, have gingerly waned. Silly me thought I would be able to bring my fun L.A. Autumn/Winter wardrobe instead of the insipid wooly winter wear that I have so carefully boxed up with electrical tape and a warning sticker that says, "Open when L.A. freezes over."

I guess staying for a week in a real winter with only one carry-on is just a dream in this girls fragile eggshell mind...(yes, those last few words were taken from Jim Morrison, whom I have been listening to with great intensity for the past few days)

Day-am.

childhood stuff

I normally don't fill these out but (yawn), I am SO tired...

1. What was the first car your family had?
A station wagon and a really icky blue car with a BIG tar stain on the side. The blue car CONSTANTLY reeked of oil and gas. Blech.
2. What was the name of your first pet and why?
Pepper. Because he was a Sergeant and he was lonely (ba dum bump)...Pepper was a German Shepard pup we'd gotten from some neighbors. Adorable, except I could not stand seeing him tied up, so I let him go all of the time. We eventually gave him to a home where their kid did not set him free.
3. What did you want to be when you grew up?
Lots of things--a veterinarian, a priest (I used to pass out potato chips and bless them with dip), a hippie, a psychologist, a rock star, an actor, a teacher, a writer (hee hee)...the list goes on…
4. What was the name of your elementary school?
Tinley Heights, Tinley Park, IL. The name has since changed.
5. Who was your first best friend?
A little boy named Bobby. Shortly thereafter, I met my friend Erin who remained my friend for YEARS.
6. Are you still friends today, and if not, what happened?
Nope on Bobby...not sure why. Erin and I still talk once a year.
7. What was your favorite board game?
Scrabble and Life.
8. Did you play house or other make believe games?
Oh yes. I was the queen of making cool forts in the house, putting together plays and was always the lead singer, actor and director. And yes, playing house was a must. And of course, my stuffed animals were in my productions, too.
9. Were you a Dungeons and Dragons geek?
No.
10. Did you sleep with stuffed animals as a kid?
Oh yes. At one point, there were so many animal I barely had room on my bed.
11. Do you still sleep with stuffed animals?
Just my cat.
12. Who was the first person you looked up to when you were younger?
My sister, without a doubt.
13. Who was your favorite relative?
That would fall between my great Aunt Angeline and my Aunt Milly and for two completely different reasons:
Aunt A was this glamorous, eccentric rich lady with all sorts of stories and the craziest knack for taking pictures. Sincerely, she took pictures of anything AND everything…and I mean that in the best and worst possible way! She was my grandma's sis, the oldest at the point when I came along (everyone else had passed on). She was a strange bird, but in a really funny way. She passed away a few years ago.
Aunt M is my dad's younger sister. She rocks. She is the one person in our family who ALWAYS tells you the truth, whether you like it or not. She's traveled everywhere, is a total straight shooter and is our most prized family member for being able to rely on her for the best advice and helping us deal with the worst moments.
14. Were you short or tall in elementary school?
Short, fat glasses….
15. Were you teased in school?
Luckily, no. I really lucked out.
16. What was the name of your favorite teacher?
Elementary school would have to be … gosh, I don't remember her name, but she was so nice and really got to know each student personally and school-wise.
17. What was the name of your least favorite teacher?
Ugh. I could go on for hours. Since question 18 and 19 are tangled into this, I will just say that while my English teachers were HARD on us to get the best work possible out of us, being in degenerate math gave us teachers that were complete slackers and couldn't have cared less whether we passed or failed. So I would say every math teacher, for simply letting me NOT get any type of understanding of the subject.
18. What was your best subject in school?English and Speech.
19. What was your worst subject in school?
Math. No question.
20. Did you do well in Physical Education?
No. Strangely, it served me SO well as an adult to being physically fit, but I was LAAAAZY as a kid and slacked off as much as possible.
21. Were you clumsy when you were younger?
One of my nicknames was, "Lumpy"…use your best judgment.

22. Who was your favorite band as a kid?
Oh my. Well, by the art of permeation....sharing a room with my sis, Reo Speedwagon…Oh and Banarama. I was in their fan club!
23. What was your favorite movie as a kid?
"Grease" and then, "the Outsiders"
24. Did your parents read to you?
Not too often. I learned to read at a really young age so I just did it myself.
25. Did you have a favorite book?
I loved the Clifford books and Judy Blume.
26. What was your favorite restaurant as a kid?
Golden Bear. It was where we went to breakfast EVERY Sunday after church. They had a great kids menu and placemats I could color.
27. What TV or movie star did you have a crush on?
The Duke boys, of course. And then Jason Bateman when he was on "Silver Spoons"….
28. Do you now wonder what you were thinking?
Nah. They were ALL the rage!
29. Who was your first crush in school?
A cute boy named Jimmy. Since there were seven boys and thirty girls per class, we ALL liked Jimmy.
30. As a child, what kind of car did you want when you grew up?A red car.
31. Did your parents spank you?
Never. I was threatened with "The Hand" but never hit.
32. Did your parents fight a lot when you were a kid?
Yes.
33. Did your parents get divorced or stay married?
Still married.
34. Did you ever run away from home?
Oh yes, but never got further than a block.
35. How old were you when/if you first got glasses?
Ugh. I was so little I can scarcely remember, but I had a patch, glasses and the whole enchilada, due to having a "lazy eye," something I had until just a few years ago. I threw my glasses in the garbage in Junior high and strangely enough, my eye sight was always great.
36. Did you need braces or a retainer?
Yes. No one else in my family ever did, but Bobby (see #5) knocked my front teeth out and it mangled my adult teeth. I was lucky though…I had them for less than a year.

When Irish Eyes are smiling...

My neighbors growing up were straight-off-the-boat from Ireland, with names like Rena, TWO guys named Patrick, Anne-Marie, Sean and Tommy. Mom (Rena) and kid Patrick had flaming red hair. They were all sun-burn victims, except for Anne, who somehow had a shroud of Mediterranean skin. The mom, Rena, had a very thick brogue accent and often said American expressions completely backwards, but she was infamous for her own brand of harassment in saying, "Oh stop, you'll break and tear the house down" which really sounded like, "Oh shtop, yoo-ll break and tear the how-se dow-n."

Anyway, Anne was my good friend. Our houses were so close, I could hop over the fence to get to her yard (not that I did, remember I was a fat kid). She also had a pool, which made her an even better friend. I spent ridiculous amounts of time in that house. But our lives could not have been more different. While I was the wild-child youngest kid in my family with little to no responsibility, she was the oldest kid with the most responsibility a kid could have at that point in life. Her mom worked crazy and long hours as a CTA bus-driver. I was never quite sure what her dad did, if anything, but at any rate, she was the live-in babysitter, built-in Mom and the cook. She took care of her brothers when they were sick. She helped them with their homework. She essentially raised them herself. She also had to attend a Catholic school, which ironically was always my threat of punishment when I was bad. "If you do that again, we are sending you to Catholic school"…worked like a charm every time and kept this kid out of trouble.

Seeing that there was no one I could pick on and since she was a year younger than me, I did all of the things to her that older siblings do. Anne got the official "little sister" taunting from me.

I had silly nicknames for her. I convinced her to let me cut her hair. I was the person who told her there was no Santa Claus. Well, actually, I'd confirmed it. She knew. Her mother, Rena, was NOT so happy with that and let me know. I did everything and some that had been done to me and in return, she treated me with the disdain, but the respect younger siblings give their older sibs. She really listened to me and after the taunting was over, I grew to appreciate her.

As the years went by, her parents decided to move into a bigger house. They put their house up for rent and moved across town but asked if Anne could finish school at our house since her bus was right in the neighborhood. The plan was that she would stay for a month. She was in 7th grade, I was in 8th.

We set up another bed in my bedroom and it was like having a month long slumber party. Since we went to different schools, it was fun to compare notes on what was happening in the public school system (boys) or her horrific nun stories. But like all slumber parties, there is a good story.

Anne wanted me to pluck her eyebrows. I'd only ever done my own and had really mastered it, so I had a go. She couldn't sit still. Her eyes kept watering. I put (great tip, btw) Oragel (the goop that numbs gums) on her eyebrows THEN tried to pluck. Still no go. She was being a baby. I was frustrated.

Since she had NO threshold for beauty pain, she asked me to…shave her eyebrows.

I pondered this and thought, "Well, why not??" Men shaved their faces into designs, why couldn't I Picasso her eyebrows. Seemed easy enough. And Picasso I did. I did one. It was perfect … like shaping a small caterpillar. No problem. Like a model. I did good!

It was the other eyebrow that I … missed. Or messed up. Or just plainly f-ed up. It wasn't until after I'd taken HALF her eyebrow off that I realized my error. My big fatal error. My error that I could not glue back on.

I stared at her in shock, but tried to hide my fright (and my evil laughter). She wanted to see. She was excited. I panicked. I told her to wait.

I remember scrambling into my mother's gargantuan make-up drawer. My mother has always been natural, but had more make-up than Tammy Faye Baker's face. Anyway, I found eyebrow pencil and ran back into my room.

Too late. Anne was crying and holding her eye like I'd punched her. She was going to tell my parents on me. I freaked. I told her (lying, of course) that she could do the same to me. She tried escaping my room, but I had to come up with something, so I grabbed a magazine to show her what I could do. And then I calmed her down enough to show her the magic of make-up. I very carefully drew in her eyebrow and even added a sexy little arch. I told her she looked like a model. She grew silent. She looked. Thru her tears a little smile crept up. I sighed with the relief that older siblings must get when they know they have saved the day.

Bad thing was, after that incident, she didn't quite have a handle on her dark skin but light hair and that using DARK black eyeliner to 'fix' her eyebrow looked a little odd, but I let her figure that one out.

Funny little extra: Anne's parents were fairly young, compared to mine so I went by the first named basis, Rena and Pat, with them. My parents being older somehow made the whole first-name thing NOT work. Since I had a complicated last name, the first year I knew Anne, she used to call my parents, "Mr. and Mrs. Lisa's Parents."

For some FUN Halloween pics

check out:

www.valleygirly.blogspot.com