Dishing

Things that are making me batty...

1) I am so tired I can barely stand it. For some reason, after falling asleep around 11:30, I woke up at 3 a.m. Wide-awake. I lay there for awhile and decided maybe getting up would make me realize how tired I am. Nope. Around 4:45 I fell back to sleep only to be woken up by Hungry Kitty, who was pouncing on me and shaking me with her thumbless little paws, screaming in Kitty Lingo "I am hungry Dammit..." This was 6 a.m. I am bleary.

2) There is a constant cackle about two feet from me today. Co-worker. Unusually awful today with words like, "enema," "gingko" and "Socrates" all coming out with the witchy cackles to follow.

3) I don't want to go to the gym but I have to go to the gym. I didn't go all weekend...was that a weekend??

4) Weekend there was very much late night owl vampire-like stuff happening followed by very strange late sleeping, which is so not me and threw off my wee little veek-hend break -- and way too busy.

And that's all I've got at 3:34. Peace. Zzzzzz....

Panic! Worry! Over...

As many friends of mine know, I have a severe fear of eye doctors. Whether it was my first eye doctor, Dr. Kutt (oh yes -- imagine that) to the later brands of demons who have poked, tweaked and prodded my eyes, I avoid them at all costs.

Having had eye surgery five years back, my fear increased. It wasn't because they were scary or evil but I was literally over anything coming near my eyeballs. Being stabbed seemed somehow better than having someone poke me in the eye. I also still have memories of the pain and the looking like "Stigmata" (yes Kelly.. I know you know)...

These past few days my left eye has been killing me. I wake up, it hurts. It burns and even itches. I thought a few eye drops would stop it but this morning I woke up with a Holy Sh** Sty and knew I could not avoid the inevitable (and now that my beloved regular doctor retired, I am f***ed.)

I have not seen N.E.D. (Nice Eye Doctor) for five years. Five years ago I hated him and he was just plain ole E.D. There were all sorts of terribly uncomfortable tests I had to endure before my surgery and this man was responsible, so I had literally gray-boxed his face in my mind and considered him the enemy.

But today was different. We laughed. We giggled. He told me my eyes looked fantastic.

Then it was gross -- he flipped my eyelid with a q-tip (for real) and suddenly it dawned on me he was the same Kook Doctor that tried to gorge my eyes out years ago. I saw flashes of the character Alex from "A Clockwork Orange" -- you remember the part when he has those awful eye clamps on -- and I got really shifty and uncomfortable. N.E.D. then said, "I am not going to hurt you..." and he didn't. Peace again.

Anyway. I did it. I survived a two hour appointment (he also gave me a real eye exam and it was fine). He told me I needed to change my make-up (woooooo - I "need" to buy new make-up - water soluble stuff) and that the eye drops (all five different brands I carry at all times) are all complete crap.

He also told me a new tip: baby shampoo. He said to remove under eye make-up, take a little baby shampoo, mix it with water (10% shampoo / 90% water) and dip the q-tip in, swish it around and run it under the eye to remove any debris. All that AND a beauty tip. He's back on my list of good people AND -- I don't have to see him again for a year!

The Dawning of Scorpio

These are some amazing photos that My Darling Kelly (licka licka) took on her visit back in November...




Melissa and I Missing An Angel...






Blowing glitter and moondust into your soul...




CHEESE!




"look eento our eyez" Possessed! And can we just all agree that Mz. Kelly Kelly looks like a reincarnation of a flaming hot old-school screen star? Maybe Ms. Harlow?

Ethereal

Isn't this just breathtaking? I found this on a whim and later found out it was taken in the early 1940's. Can you imagine?

Give a hoot ---

Dear Litterbug:

I started writing down your license plate number but was not sure who to call. I thought of following you home just to see if you treat your own house with such utter disdain. I even thought of driving up to your window to yell obscenities, but in this day and age, you never know what that could lead to.

What do I know of you? Obviously, you really love Burger King or you don’t, which is why you decided to whip a large bag of it out your window onto the street . I know you really like your Monster Truck as the gleam of the fresh wash beamed into my eyes as I watched you contaminate the street with your garbage. And you like your vehicle enough to not leave your own trash inside so instead, you leave it to Mother Nature.

Am I taking this out on just you? No. Friday as I drove down Sunset, I watched a person fling Starbucks out of their Mercedes. God forbid you dirty the Mercedes because your latte with the twist had too much foam. The Earth is a much better place to throw your trash…

Not so. I care. And I wish there was a way to make citizens arrests for fucktards that decide that throwing the remnants of their ashtray out the window was somehow a good thing. I wish I could fine people in parks for leaving all of their weekend nosh leftovers to raccoons and the very over-worked and underpaid park workers who have to clean that shit up. Don’t even get me started on the sewers and the fact they drain into our oceans and lakes causing more…ugh, nevermind.

Mostly, I just wish everyone would take a moment to put a bag in their car if they eat or drink in it and dispose of it as nature intended and NOT leave it as the eyesore and contamination it becomes.

Christ people, it’s 2008. There are more than enough warnings that we keep making HUGE mistakes for our environment and all…can you just put your damn garbage in the trash as it belongs? Or compost!

Big wheels keep on turnin’….

This weekend turned out to be a little bit of something special. We have been pretty caught up in the Car-ma -- the fact that I have had two flat tires and pretty much have held hostage the amazing Infiniti that would belong to Mr. A has been the deal.

Friday we made the most amazing Margherita pizza you have EVER had. I cheated and bought a pre-made crust from Whole Foods (the crust was perfect, btw) and had fresh basil, fresh mozzarella and the most beautiful tomatoes you have ever seen. The wine I bought at Whole Foods was equally awesome so we ate, drank and chilled.

Saturday morning we met Bunnie and Derek for breakfast at Cici’s in Tarzana. Have you ever had breakfast sexonaplate? The pankcakes at this place are so enormous you that you just assume you couldn’t dare eat a lot…I did. I damn well nearly ate my weight in, get this, chocolate-macadamia nut-whipped cream with fresh strawberries pancakes. O.M.G. Bunnie had the unbelievable tiramisu pancakes that were dripping with marsacone, whipped cream and all the fixings Derek had Monkey Business that were so luscious to stare at – and this was even what we really “ordered” to eat. It was our “side”…. And every bite is so decadent it almost makes you feel – naughty.

We lazed about a lot of the day, running mindless errands and then went to Jason and Melissa’s for dinner. Upon arriving twice (their darling son, Mr. J insisted that he open the door for us since when we first arrived, he was on the potty) we walked into a mass of aromas. Melissa can cook up a storm and is equally fun to watch. She is really like her own cooking show. My big job was helping to peel crawfish. She was making Etouffee (that was to DIE for), the tasty French bread and the and let me tell you, between that, the wine and the conversations, it was a perfect night.

We arrived home and shortly thereafter when to bed. Of course I woke up wide-awake at 3 AM and the ONLY thing on was Beverly Hills 902100. .. and it was on again at 4 and the 5. I watched curiously -- could this be the same show that I once coveted and could not leave the house for?? It’s corny, but I will forever love the infamous Brenda line, “ I hate you both. Never talk to me again!" As I dozed off, I received a work call at 6 am about a missed flight – sigh.

The car is finally fixed though. Four new tires . Peanut the car and I am back in business!

Equally decadent Margherita pizza was made tonight for Mr. A, only this time I bought gooey dough from Trader Joes. While I loved the Whole Foods crust, the Trader Joes was equally good, was fun to prepare (you have to roll it with a rolling pin, but you feel like you are contributing more!) and hi…the price? The Whole Foods crust was almost $6, while Trader Joes was a mere 99 cents…GOOD BUY. Not to mention, you can make a bevy of things with this very tasty dough.

Final thought:

Can I comfortably admit that I miss the Red carpet for the Golden Globes like an old friend? I love it. I miss it. Call me what you will but nothing gives me pleasure more than amazing gowns and even frightening ones. Please Writers Strike – be over soon. Give us back our shows and our red carpet and rid us of the dreadful, filler reality shows.

Give me some skin...

I LOVE skin care products and am a freak about skin care, period. Whether it was my mother always saying to “stay out of the sun” or my darling Kelly (whose face is like a baby’s rump) constantly moisturizing — I can comfortably say I am too, a true addict.

Skin care is more than just looking young…its prevention to keep our skin healthy. Our skin is our protection, our shield. After all, it’s the ONLY skin you have so be good to it.

Bottom line – the condition of your skin comes from genes but mostly is a reflection of what is happening inside your body so if you do unhealthy things – BAM, they will live and be free on your face.

When I first moved to L.A., my face started to look like a diaper rash. It was bumpy, creepy and I finally consulted a dermatologist (who is still in my life…). It was there I learned that besides the smoggy air that was a part of my skin reactions, I was stressed out. Stress goes right to your face, so my friends ….stay chill.

Beyond just stress, our everyday actions always have consequences whether it’s waking up with a bad hangover or years later, receiving a clump of wrinkles as your reward for being a party maven. What we do when we're younger plays a role in how well we age. Nothing will stop aging but we can keep it at arms length by taking care of what we have.

I get regular peels. I call them “chemical” peels but they are actually acid peels which are fruit based. BE CAREFUL with peels, people. Any peel is “chemical”. Only get them from an actual dermatologist’s office. Many skin care specialists will offer peels, but often times they are overly harsh and / or abrasive and can cause burns and even scarring. The idea of a peel is to remove the dead top layer of skin which in turn improves skin texture, slowly removes scars, fine wrinkles and other skin blemishes. Less is more. The peel lasts less than a week and then your skin looks shiny and new J

But beyond the peel, everyday should be a good skin day. Since we are all different, it’s important to test different products and see what works. Is your skin oily? Is it acne prone? Is it sensitive? I highly recommend going to a dermatologist. If you don’t have good insurance or are too shy, I also recommend Whole Foods for beginners because their products tend to be effective, lovely, but much milder.

Another good thing to do is to get samples and try different products: what works for one person may not work for another. Everybody has different skin and everyone reacts differently to products. Having sensitive skin / high histamines like I do, I need to be way careful with what I put on my face or I end up looking like a Puffer fish!

Products I use / love:

o I love Chanel products but let’s face it…they are expensive, but I will say, they are luscious and make you feel privileged … tee hee.

o I use Epicuren moisturizer every morning and night. A little dab will do you. You can also use it under your eyes, which I love because it forces you to not need two face products. It’s light, it smells oh-so fresh and it lasts about 2 months if you use it daily.

o In the morning, I always use an SPF 25 – 40 sunblock before applying my makeup.

o Get breakouts? Seriously, use Dial soap. For real. Try it.

o Every evening I use Epicuren herbal face wash and follow with a swab of Witch Hazel. And then a little moisturizer.
o
Treat yourself. Get a facial. The rule of thumb is to get a facial every season, more if you have problem skin. Facials are not only effing relaxing, but it is the most effective “cleaning” your skin can get.

o Drink water. It sounds like a myth, but water is not only cleansing for your insides, but definitely plays a part on your outside. Think of how dank you feel if your are overheated with no water: that is how your skin feels. Hydrate! If you don’t love drinking water or find it annoying, a good trick is either to use a straw (which I do) or make a nice water stew. Take a pitcher of water and in it put cucumbers, oranges, lemons (thinly sliced, kids) and let the fruits / veggies settle in the water. It creates a very nice, crisp flavor (all of the spa’s are doing it, you can to!!)

o I love a good mask. I love a good old fashioned mud mask (which you can find at the local drugstore). Lush has a few good masks as does Epicuren, but I find they are VERY strong, so use them sparingly. A mask is good to clean up and tighten your skin, but like everything, use in moderation.

o A good homemade mask can be as close as your fridge! Got eggs? A full raw egg is perfect for normal skin, egg whites good for oily and yolks good for dry. Put egg on your face and let it dry. Remove with wet, warm washcloth. Niiice.

Products rock, but don’t use too much. A little goes a long way. Except sunblock:

STAY OUT OF THE SUN or at least be smart. A little sun goes a long way. SUN BLOCK yourselves. It’s NOT cute to get sunburned anymore. Being bright red should only be for blushing cuz you’re so darn cute. Beyond adding years to your skin, our atmosphere is too messed up to protect you and skin cancer SUCKS.

(Thanks for the idea, Jillie...!!!)

Great quote I read today

When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you

- Lao-Tzu

Alright already...

Kitty has become my shadow. I cannot sit, walk, talk, cook or anything of the like without Kitty at my feet, pawing me, mewing at me. She nevers stops stalking me. It just started a few weeks back but it is starting to drive me crazy. Right now, she is perched up next to me, face on my hand and body heavily cemented into me. When I am sleeping, she lays thisclose and stares at me.

Okay ... I just got up and walked away and she followed me! And I am back here writing and guess who is next to me??

Bunnie has spoke on this behavior with her big brown dog Rufus, but she is pregs. Now Rachel has recently spoke of her cat, Phoebe, doing the exact same annoying thing. And ahem, Rachel is preggie, too!!!

Now Kitty...only I am not with child, just a furry one. I think Kitty read their blogs and took notes.

Sigh.

Annoyance and joy

If ever you notice a chunk of typos (it happens) in my stuff and they seem to be all concentrated to one area, let me share: there is a big thick, nasty, gnarly, angry, line that goes down the center of my screen on my laptop. It's an anomaly. It drives me MAD. Mad I tell you! But I guess I can’t complain. A year ago, I had NO computer so this is not the worst thing ever, but it definitely gets in the way when I feel like blabbing.

If any techie nerds know how to fix this, feel free to give me your two cents!

Otherwise, today was a great day. While I indeed had to be up extra early, the day was filled with interesting moments, new and more interesting people and traffic wasn’t so bad on my way home. I also e-mailed with a few darling friends and just felt good and shiny all day!

Want to see something adorable?? I just can’t get over how amazing this story is…I hope no moronic people break the peace.

http://dailycoyote.blogspot.com/

Ramblings…

We did not go to sleep until the late A.M. and I was up when the roosters were crowing… I did a bunch of stuff and then of course, broke down like an old jalopy.

We finally saw the movie, “Waitress” last night. I highly recommend it.

Keri Russell is adorable, but plays her character as she is – tough, strong, and very torn about many aspects of her life. Her cohorts, played by the always funny Cheryl Hines and the late Adrienne Shelley (who wrote and directed this movie) make the whole piece funny, sweet and very sad at the right times. And who knew Andy Griffith would not just make an appearance, but have real heart in the movie? The whole cast is amazing (I can't discuss my darling Jeremy Sisto or his character ...see it yourself). There are so many interesting moments and some really great lines. The hardest part was I felt like I was holding my breath thru the entire movie and was finally able to breathe again after the ending. I won’t give anything away. SEE it. It’s not slick…it’s quirky, smart, funny but sad all in one.

Sadly, Adrienne Shelley did not live to see the opening of her mini masterpiece (if you don’t know what happened to her <<>> Google it.)

Btw, did you know if you take any random cake mix and mix it with a can of any random soda, you can actually bake a cake?

I thought is sounded odd, but I took a white cake mix that was lying around and took one of Mr. A’s diet Cokes (blech, I don’t drink soda) and added two egg whites for tighter consistency. I threw the batter into muffin tins on 350 for a half hour and voila, we have pretty darn tasty cupcakes. No kidding. I made to different frostings (a fattening and a low-fat since I am sporting a Cartman-like body these days) and dayam, they are SOOO good. Try it. Easy, breezy white-trash baking  Actually, the siet soda thing is all over the Internet for diabetic / low-fat baking websites.

Suffering from the Sunday blues – tomorrow is going to be an early and long day. Not so fun.

Enjoy your day!

Happy Endings...and two posts in ONE day??

Beyond the obvious fabulous writing for “SATC”, the last four episodes are always the true “waterworks.” I hate when things wrap up. I hate when you know the end is near. I hate the shitty things that happen. I hate Carrie with the Russian. But what I love is besides seeing the “girls” stand by each other and reunite in the end, and that everything wraps up so nicely for everyone…it also is reminder of our own friendships, and that you are truly blessed to have your own girls to lean on and that no matter what you have going on in your life, your friends are worth gold.

I just got done watching the last four on On Demand. Now that I am a sputtering, swollen mess from crying, I just had to take a moment to be grateful for the best friends and best sanity I have in my life. Love you all!

Leaving well enough alone…

Another “chick” blog but don’t you HATE when everything is fine and you decide to get a haircut and suddenly, it’s not so fine?

A month ago, I cut my hair, something I do often when I am bored. Two weeks later (and ago) I thought I should get a professional cut to “fix” it. Nothing was wrong but now…BAH.

I need to learn to just leave well enough along. I will be wearing my hair in a bun for at least a month or two.

maintenance for the mavens

Today a friend told me I should I should share, ala blog, some of my beauty secrets / product junkie hints / trade secrets / favorite girlie spots since I am definitely a gal that likes to be girlie-girled with hair goo, face gunk, mani's, waxes, etc. But then I thought, if I share, they wouldn't be secrets anymore. Alas, since it's a new year, and I would like to think of myself as a practical maintainer as well as a mare that can share. Since I have hours of this to share and my palette for the new is always changing, I will start with a few:

1. Bumble and Bumble hair products. They not only make your hair bouncy and shiny, but they are also conditioning at the same time. While I don't have the $$$ for all of the products, my favorite is the Styling crème. While it's around $25 for a bottle, it will last you forever. The trick is (and this goes for any product), less is more. Always start small. This creme is good for any type of hair but seems to work best with thicker hair (sorry, it gets a little gluey in the wrong head of hair) but otherwise, for waves, straight, damaged...it's lovely. You can do all sorts of heat inspired looks (hot rollers, irons, etc.) and it conditions your hair to a point of keeping it safe from the hotness…that hotness in the end is you!!

Their surf spray rocks but here’s a tip: if you mix 1 3/4 teaspoons of sea salt (or regular salt) with one cup of water in a spray bottle, you can get the same results. If you like you can add a few drops of your favorite essential oil such as lavender to get not only conditioning, but you’ll smell just dandy. Make sure you SHAKE well each time you use it. Use it on damp hair and either air dry or scrunch under a hairdryer. Excellent and sexy.

2. Favorite bikini / Brazilian waxer in L.A.

Get WAXED!! I realize I am bouncing around here, but this is a MUST. After months of terror getting my privates ripped, torn, burned and shredded, I thought I had found a utopia. This place had a wax that was different and I "thought" the waxing was, too. But afterwards, I suffered with outgrow problems I won't get too graphic with. Then the gates of Heaven opened and I found her at Billion Dollar Brows. I only got my eyebrows done there once but it wasn’t because they were bad. Nope. I don't get my brows done. Have you seen them? They are Marlene Dietrich-ed (mom ALWAYS said at some point they would never grow back...but I wanted to be a grunge rocker in the 90's!!) They are now thin as rails. But the day I did go, they giggled and cleaned up the two or three loose hairs, shaped them and filled them in so I had sexy diva eyebrows. And can I also say it’s relaxing? As if! Their chairs recline in the most comfortable way and your head is back in a perfect spot so they while they work and you close your eyes, all you do is here the light background music and the hum of the cars outside the door. It also is fast and does not hurt!!!

Billion Dollar Brows rocks for regular eyebrow care but back to the wax. Marina is her name and waxing is her game. She is the cutest, tiniest woman you have ever seen and makes you feel extremely comfortable, which is plus since she is touching all of those spots that otherwise might make you blush. She also tells the wildest tales about her life, other clients and in return, you get a very fast, pain-free wax. Also, the aftermath weeks later are unbelievable. One word of caution: she has a mirror in that odd place that when you happen to crane your neck, you are suddenly face to face with your sassy spot. While SATC taught us it's good to look at it and love your sass, seeing it at angles with all of the other parts of your body tends to make you want a Xanax.

All of that aside, I give it a high kick in short shorts!

http://www.billiondollarbrows.com/

3. Old standbys. I did listen to my mom when she told me to always keep a jar of Vaseline around just.in.case. It took me years to do this since I was still recovering from the time I took an entire jar and smeared it all over myself because I liked how shiny I looked…but she was right. Vaseline is good for burns, but even more, its great for dry skin. Right now my hands are like how I picture Yoda’s claws – dry, flaky and sometimes they hurt. I have been slapping some ‘line on them before bed and don my little cotton gloves and voila, soft and pretty hands are what you get the next morning. Works for feet, too!

Witch hazel. While you can use it for a variety of things: sores, bruising, anything swollen, I like to use it as an astringent. It’s mild, natural and does not strip your skin like many more popular products. Not to mention, a jug of it is CHEAP.

Indulge my darlings…and wear sunblock!

I survived!

Day 1 back at work: not so bad. It could be the fact that everyone is still out, including the two people I work closest with and do the most work for, so really, I just stopped in, said hi to my usual peeps, sorted mail and hung out.

K and I did our usual run into Beverly Hills. We are so lucky to be so close to such good walking adventures. Beyond just the great shopping (mostly the best apothecary EVER and Whole Foods) the people watching never fails us. We had seen some of ODDEST sites in our daily walks and they have nothing to do with star sightings or the like.

One day we were walking into one of the very lush neighborhoods and found a very large box of empty condoms lying on a lawn . A few steps further there were condoms littered in a strange and orderly fashion, every five feet for about a block. At the end of the block was a scrap of paper that looked like someone had taken some blocking notes for a script, ripped a chunk of the paper off and dropped it on the ground. It said something like ".. and Fefe broke it off with him like a hamhock in stew..." We were dumbfounded.

Anyway. Day 1 was okay. still have two flat tires and am quite sure there is an angry elf somewhere that is taking some joy in poking my wheels.

Well. As they say in the homeland, Lahko noch (that means good night)

I got me da' blues...

No, not real blues, but I am definitely sad that after my almost 2 week hiatus, I am back to work tomorrow.

In all truthfulness, my time off ROCKED!!! My first few days my darling dad (pictured below) was in visiting. He has had a helluva year...while some of it was difficult, his spirits picked up after he'd spent Thanksgiving in New York with my sister and then of course, his Xmas with Mr. A and I. And we had a fun schedule...nothing. We had nowhere to be, no pressure, except of course to do our drive to Nevada, which was fun.

But in between, it was just nice to hang out. I would try to wake up before him to make coffee and once dad was up, I would make him his 78-year old man's breakfast --bran flakes and prune juice. Cringing aside, it was interesting to see that we are both morning people (I am a night person, too so ... what does that make me? A vampire?) and both enjoy the morning peace and quiet.

But it was never really quiet. My Papa, a normally quiet man, talked about the little things and the big things. Moments, my dad's childhood as a "dirt poor" kid who still always felt like "George bailey" and much more.

At night, Mr. A and I would play card games and have old school Xmas music in the background. Papa Z. would sit with us and not just play "name that singer" but always had a very profound story about each musician.

Nevada was so amazingly fun and Mr. A's parents were warm and welcoming, not to mention Mr. A's mother, the unbelievable cook she is, made my Papa Z. all of his favorite old school Yugoslavian cuisine. My Papa is NOT a man who normally stays over at other people's homes, but he couldn't help but be comfortable around all of the excitement and chatter that takes place over there.

When we returned to L.A., Mr. A got sick just in time for all of our fun Xmas parties we had planned to attend and Papa had aching feet from the crazy amounts of walking we did (sorry Dad :) so I did a few parties and the men sat around and bantered for hours about sports, cowboy movies, war movies, etc.

Papa Z. spent Xmas day with my brother and returned to us at night. The next day, after our super fun lunch at Marix in the Palisades (and some AWESOME star-sightings) we said our goodbyes and for the first time, I think my dad wanted to stay longer!

After he left, I fell into this crazy reorganizing / cleaning mode. Since these moments rarely ever happen to me, I jumped on it and accomplished SO much.

Mr. A was sick for NYE, so we hung at home and like the old farts we are not, fell asleep by 11.

And can I tell you that my person is NOT ready to return to work? I walked out to my car this morning to find not one, but TWO flat tires! What in tarnation? Anyway, I get to drive Mr. A's luxury car while he brings my car in for some nursing.

Anyway. That's a few weeks in a nut shell. I never even touched on my little birthday celebration a few weeks back with my darling guest star / diabolical side-kick Kelly and her surprise visit! I am giving a lot away but that will be for another day since I plan on trying to post a little more.

Kisses, love and glittery things...

Chi