Mommie Dearest(s)

Often I have found myself FULL of so many useless facts about celebrities, that I must take a step back and shut it for fear of my own menacing banter. I recall a Thanksgiving a few years back when my friend and I were entertaining my family with our endless chatter about the end of the TV show, "Friends." By the end of our babbling discussion about, "Courtney, Jen, David," etc., we found ourselves feeling a little weird about our over-knowledge and "kinship" with people that we clearly DO NOT know, (but could probably call us stalkers in a very miniscule way.)

And beyond just the idle chit-chat, yes, I will admit I am part of the population that pokes fun at the f-ed up stuff that happens in the weird and wonderful world of Celebrity-dom. Yes, I laugh myself silly when I peruse The Smoking Gun's archived mugshots (especially Nick Nolte's). But I do have a heart and I do feel sad (like I would for anyone) that they have such major problems and on top of it, have to face them in public.

After taking a few steps back from reading the "tabs," (that would be "tabloids" to those of you who don't know the lingo,) my mind is at a little more ease and a little more focused in my own world and those around me.

But really, that's all harmless.

What's NOT harmless, are the parents of some of these celebrities that slander their children publicly, waste them with their words, and just plainly show complete and utter disrespect for the word, "parent."

About a year ago, Tatum O'Neal wrote her memoirs. She was on "Oprah." She did the entire big "poor me," on morning shows, late shows and essentially to anyone who would listen . After reading her book, I agreed. Poor Tatum. Of course, after the book came out, her father and ex-husband tried to say she was crazy, blah blah blah. And you know, she probably is partially crazy, but if even a quarter of her book were true, they had MUCH to do with her walk into the blurry world of nutty.

Then there was Jennifer Aniston, whose mother wrote some slag book about her failed relationship with her daughter. Hmmm. How about chatting with your child instead of MAKING MONEY from her. That might be a way to mend fences…if that was really her intention.

My favorite (NOT) pulverization of someone's character was Jon Voight. In case you don't know, his daughter is Angelina Jolie. Right around the time she'd gotten divorced from Billy Bob (and thankfully, stopped talking to her father), and right when she'd adopted her son, her father went on national TV to say that Angelina was crazy, that she should not be a mother, yadda, yadda, yadda…yes. Nice.

But today, this is about Linda Carroll. Who is Linda Carroll? She is a new author/money-grubbing-jerk-who-calls-herself-a- mother to the infamous, notorious Courtney Love.

Here are some excerpts from Loving Mummy (and actually, from Page Six:)

In "Her Mother's Daughter," due from Doubleday in January, Linda Carroll reveals that Love has been getting stoned and causing calamities since she was in diapers. Courtney had a troubled upbringing and her hippie parents split up shortly after her first birthday. When she was 4 years old, her father, Hank, would dose her with "magic pills" and draw psychedelic squiggles all over her naked body. Carroll eventually had to take him to court to keep him from having unsupervised visits with Courtney. Courtney started in therapy when she was 6 years old. She was caught reading porn magazines in an adult bookstore at age 9 and was kicked out of every school she attended.

Now, I don't claim to be a doctor, but something tells me that these particular behaviors at the hands of her parents MIGHT (just a slight maybe), have something to do with her problems in later life. And now, EVERYONE will know even more about an ALREADY totally-outed, public spectacle mess called Courtney Love.

There are many other stories of this, too many to tell. Bottom line, with parents like these jerks, who needs the media??

Makes being beaten with wire hangers seem a little tame, riiight?