I think I need an exorcist.

I have a jinx syndrome right now. I don't know how it started, but I believe I have surpassed the #4 mark in finding all things breakable and unknowingly have started my mission to seek and destroy.

It started over a month ago. Setting: Cinco de Mayo weekend -- I am at a fun and festive crawfish boil, drinking beers, ripping heads off of crawfish, jamming to some old school NOLA tunes and wearing the greatest and most expensive sunglasses that have ever donned my face. Not mine, but my darling boyfriends shades that he tells me look so great on me. (All fun and kidding aside, they are pretty effing cool)

Five hours later and too many beers over, a lens is MIA. Just fell out of my head. Darling boyfriend is not mad but completely stumped and befuddled as to how it fell out and where it went.

A week later, it is 5 a.m. on a Saturday. I have Great Neighbor with me. We are pulling out of my eeny Hollywood parking spot with all the glee a girl could muster as we were heading to Disneyland! As I was carefully and slowly pulling out of my spot, I get side-tracked by the Monster Truck in my garage. I look away for a hair strand and partially rip off my passenger side mirror, only to hit it again on a later date.

A week later, I am in Chicago with cell phone on me at all moments. Cell phone liquidates or SOMETHING to create the lubey-slippage that starts occurring -- not really lube but, yes. I dropped said phone. Not once, not twice but over five times. It was as if it no longer wanted to be near me – like it was escaping. Trying to talk on it after the fact was like trying to get phone reception in a coal mine. Thus, cell phone is now in cell graveyard.

Then yesterday the darling boyfriend and some friends were parked in the backyard. It was a beautiful day with great conversations and some great sippy wine. Nothing is wrong. No bees are trying to nail me. No birds are trying to poop on me. I am wearing my favorite long white skirt – you know, the kind that is long, cottony and flowing (yes, the kind women wear in tampax commercials). Fortunately, that wasn't the case, but I was getting up from the beautiful wood picnic table when I feel my arce area is attached to something. An eeny piece of material hinged itself around a piece of wood the size of a splinter and ripped the entire back of my skirt in the worst and most noticeable place.

I think I need an exorcist.

Don't sit too close, I might take your eye out.

P.S. Sunglass lens was found and cool shades are back intact!